Live a balanced life by choosing a lifestyle where you achieve success in your chosen field through determined effort and ingenuity, and at the same time manage to be emotionally fully present and genuinely involved in the lives of your chosen partner, children, friends and the wider community.
These inner dynamics of workaholism ensure that the “doing-performing” Thinking function part of the personality dominates, and slowly represses the attributes and values of the “feeling-being” authentic Self. These “Externalizers” indeed have learned to “see themselves as if through others’ eyes.” Gaining others’ approval therefore becomes vitally important to their self-esteem.
People who are Externalizers habitually go into their Thinking and second-guess what others want them to do, say, think, or feel. Based on these projections, which are their personal interpretations about the other’s expectations or motivation, or that serve their own purpose, they then react and intellectualize a response.
In contrast, the process of Internalizing first focuses on gathering information about what is happening using both Thinking’s sound analysis and good judgment, and Feeling’s wisdom and compassionate understanding. The next step is to examine your own internal reactions to that person or situation, and to examine whether you are overreacting because of a layering of old feelings about past experiences or prejudices over present ones. The task then begins to develop the inner control necessary to be 100% responsible for your response and subsequent actions.